I’m reading these old ass depressing posts from the beginning of the year and I’m just happy I’m not in that place anymore. I was sad. I’m not 100% out of there yet but I’m no where near as sad as I used to be.
I’m happier than before because I’m surrounded by the most important things. Family and friends. They’ve become the center of my life besides school and work. My focus has shifted from a dying “relationship” to fully healthy ones.
Ahhh, random rant.
I always feel awkward sitting on the table wearing a gown with nothing under. Even if I have a female doctor, that’s still weird lol.
I’ve been having these chest pains since last year and apparently, according to my EKG, my heart is fine.
The doctor says I’m too stressed and need to relax.. that’s hard to do. She thinks I’m thinking way too much of this chest pain which is why I’m starting to think it hurts.
It still freaks me out. I still feel this uncomfortable feeling and that woman kept looking at me like I was crazy. If I die, it’s her fault.
I think I’m in the process of getting through each day….
So, I’m gonna do all of them…all 7 of them!
Yes, I’m that bored.
1. What is one thing you would want to say to one person before you died?
Did I impact your life in any way, shape, or form?
2. Where are two places you want to visit most?
Brazil & Spain.
3. What are your three lucky charms?
I have no lucky charms which probably explains why I have the worst luck :/
4. Who are your 4 closest friends and what do you like about them?
This is hard, I have quite a few.
Krystal, my best friend since 7th grade. She’s always been loyal & she never judges me. She puts up with my bitch fits & I can be my complete self with her. We can laugh about anything and when we fight, which is like never, we can’t stay mad for long.
Brad, always listens to what I say. I can get into all types of crazy things with him, and he’s always down to have a good time. One of the funniest people I know. & laughing is my # 1 hobby.
Hannah, best friend since 5th grade, even though we went to school together for one year and she moved to Alabama, we’ve always kept in touch and always have stayed close. She is basically the black version of me, with a fatter ass.
Aaron, he came into my life in a strange way. He makes me challenge what I have to say. He’s cool without trying. Sarcastic, like myself. I can tell him anything and expect him to give me good advice. I also hate him sometimes. I guess it’s love/hate friendship/relationship? lol.
5. Pick 5 things closest to you. What are they, and do they hold any significance in your life?
- My MacBook, I’m on it everyday.
- Highlighter, I should be studying.
- Review sheet, I have a test.
- Drawing in the rough, something I should be working on
- My Droid, where my life is handled most of the time.
6. Do you remember being 6 years old? What did you enjoy most about being a kid?
I remember nothing. I actually have a terrible memory of my childhood.
Say 7 random things about yourself.
My dreams are too have a family, husband, home & job that I love.
I want to possibly be an Obstetrician, or something in the Medical field. Maybe even something that deals with my creative side. I have no idea what I want to do in life.
I would love to spend the rest of my life with someone that wants to spend the rest of their life with me.
The most important person to me now is someone who probably doesn’t think the same of me.
“This too shall pass” I remember I heard it somewhere and through all rough times I always think of this phrase and I know this feeling wont last forever,
I wish I could forget all the nights of me crying in pain, frustration, and desperation.
Most cherishes memories, Summer 2010, laughing ‘till I’m in pain and being loved by those who wanted to spend a moment with no one else but me.
Wow right on the button!
I’m a tad depressed.
Maybe I’m saying this word out of infatuation rather than real love. Maybe I’m just being a naive 17 year old. I’ll be laughing at myself when I’m older.
How stupid was I.
So when I try to tell my side of the story, my mother thinks I’m being disrespectful. Whatever. I’m always out of the house because it’s frickin’ lonely here. I hate yelling at my mom and her yelling back but we’re just too alike it’s just going to happen.
School is such a drag but basketball games like the one we had tonight where all you do is scream is always the best.
I had a pretty good day I must say.
Well, it’s tomorrow so let’s see if you’ll keep your promise. Wait.. your pinky promise.
I never got to write about my Valentine’s Day. The night before was great. I was surrounded by friends which made the feeling of being lonely pass. I would have liked to shared Valentine’s day with someone special but I guess things don’t always work out.
I can’t complain though, I had a good day. I wasn’t forgotten. I received a rose from a shy freshmen which I thought was adorable.
In some ways, some people disappointed me, but I’m not going to waste my time writing another post about how upset I am.
I hope your Valentine’s Day went just as you imagined. <3